If this post had a theme song, we can go ahead and queue O.T. Genasis “Cut It” and let the rest ensue. After going back and forth since the fall of last year on to cut or not to cut, I decided to just go for it. It’s hair right? I mean we can go in yet again with another song selection from the lovely India Arie and understand, I definitely am not my hair, however the comfort and attachment is hard to break when you’ve gotten your hair to a certain point. To be honest, as much as I was told my hair is so long and growing, let’s be real, it’s been the same length for a while, it just happened to look bigger when anything close to humidity hit it. Them ends was struggling, I just had a good way of hiding it. Plus not going to an actual hair stylist and doing my own home DIY salon didn’t help either. It was only natural to chop it off and start fresh. Possibly a deeper meaning behind it since in the same week I also decided to cut ties in a relationship that just wasn’t working no matter how much I wanted it to. Ha! Something like my hair. Not wanting to let it go, constantly being on the fence and eventually realizing you just got to cut your losses while you’re ahead. Guess this was all aligned to happen as it should, a new start, welcoming a path more in tune with the person I am supposed to be instead of the person I thought I should be for everyone else. Now to the hard question. How do you short haired ladies maintain these type of styles? Long gone are the days I can throw it in a bun and call it a day, that would be like something too easy right?! Once I figure out how to get it to look like something outside of going to the salon, then we’ll be cooking with grease : )
I’m not about to start with a bah humbug moment, but this year been real different. I have no kids, no nieces and nephews, family not like it used to be where we would all gather around the tree and open the gifts we managed to get among the hoards of people in the stores. Nah, that didn’t occur this year or the year before to think of it. Even as an adult, when parents split you don’t realize how hard it affects life thereafter until you’re in it. That was back in 2016. Now we are here and it’s weird that even though I’m 34, I still don’t like the fact that my family isn’t what it once was, that Cosby-esque vibe that I didn’t know how much I missed until now. It just makes me realize when I do have a family on my own to create and continue traditions such as family all coming together at one house to eat, crack jokes, catch up, and just enjoy time spent. I can say although I didn’t get to be around my immediate family today, being a temp orphan for today allowed me to be around adopted family aka my cousins’ mother’s side of the family (hope that makes sense lol, pretty much her uncle is my dad’s brother, but I got to spend it with her mom’s side of the family). It was a such a good vibe, joy, laughter, and I got to see what it’s really like when family comes together and just enjoy one another. At the very most, it brought back those happy holiday moments of the past and made me think that these are the exact moments and memories I want to relive when I have a family of my own. Guess the lesson here is family just doesn’t mean through blood, it stems in many forms. It’s the traditions that keep us connected and we should strive to keep them alive.
2019 is finally coming to a close and it’s been a year of learning…mostly learning that I’m strong enough make it through anything. So as an homage to this year and a welcome post, here’s the biggest lessons lessons I’ve learned…drum roll please…
- Being comfortable and living in comfort are two very different things. I realized in order to be comfortable I need to be myself, raw, cut and unfiltered. Then living in comfort because of fear ain’t where its at. It will have you in situations you could have been better off without. Sometimes you got to put your big girl draws on and handle business.
- I have a better understanding of what love is and continuing to learn the right ways to and be loved (thanks to experience and therapy). Use/Say it wisely and make sure you love YOURSELF above all else . That’s the only way you will be able to know what love is and be able to give genuine love to others. So serious about this one that I got “Always Love Yourself” tatted on the back of my neck…yeah that deep.
- I am capable of more than I think. Stop overthinking whatever it is, and just go for it. The worst that can happen is sh*t don’t pan out and you figure something else out. Insert* But did you die though? Nope you didn’t and that’s on that.
- Losing doesn’t mean I lost. It wasn’t meant to stay, the expiration date was up, it was a done deal. Trust me, I won.
- This last one is a game changer and my forever mood. I can’t force squares into circles, ok?! It don’t/won’t/shan’t/can’t and every other n’t, it just doesn’t work no matter how hard you try to fit it in and that’s ok. It may not make sense in the moment, but what’s meant and not meant to be will always show and prove later on down the road. Don’t sweat it.
Listen, it’s a whole new decade upon us. If anything, these last 10 years of experiences taught me what I am not willing to do in this next decade. Friendships, relationships, jobs, behaviors, thoughts, anything that was negative or didn’t serve a higher good got to kick rocks. I’m ready to start 2020 on a clean slate taking what I’ve learned and doing better for the next 10 years to come. Dear 2020-2029, let these next 10 be the best ever, in love, in career, in finances, in self-worth/love, in all positive vibes. Grant me these things and I’ll forever be grateful and pay it forward for the next 10 years to follow. Let’s get it!